My Decision

After many years of being overweight and on yo-yo dieting, working out and bouts of depression I have given in the towel and decided to try weight loss surgery.  I have several friends who have gone the surgical option and initially I thought they were just "taking the easy way out".
Starting as a young child, maybe 8 yrs old or so, I have been overweight. I look back at pictures and cringe. That round face and tight clothes is all I could see. But deep down I was just a kid, victim of what was available to me. I didn't know better, I just hated being fat. I remember in 5th grade taking Slim Fast to school for lunch and the kids laughing at me.  I remember my mother often telling me if I got any fatter I would only fit into garbage bags for clothes.  I began to hate myself.
When I was 17 I got Mono. Ya it definitely wasn't fun but I dropped 20+ pounds and felt so much better about myself.  I weighed 150#, and I could finally fit in to some of my friends clothes.  At 18 yrs old I became pregnant after graduation. I had my son just a few weeks shy of my 19th birthday. I was looking forward to getting my "skinny" back on but that didn't happen. I had gained over 60# with him. I was eating for 2 is what people told me, so I did just that. Needless to say, 10 yrs later I was 240# and had tried all those fad diets: Slim Fast, BeachBody, Atkins, Cabbage Soup Diet,ect.  I had joined a gym, started calorie counting and became addicted.  Of course I hated it at first, but the results was all I wanted.  It took almost a year but shed 80#. I was hitting the gym 4-6 hrs/day for 5-6 days a week. The Biggest Loser was my favorite TV show and if they could do it, so could I.   Long story short, it ruined my marriage, interfered with my work life and I didn't have time for friends.  As I cut back on my routine, my pant size grew.  I had to find a new addiction, which I did-Travel. But more about that in another post.  I found myself getting to 250 #, the most I had ever weighed. I felt tired and couldn't keep up anymore.

So last year, Dec 2014 I started looking into this Weight Loss Surgery that my friend recently had. She and I work together and have the same insurance. She told me it was a lengthy process to be approved so I poked around at what was needed to be done. She wasn't kidding. I had to go to the Dr office monthly for a weight and blood pressure visit, and take nutrition classes and psychiatric evaluations.  Plus I had to be mindful of what I was eating to make new habits for post-op. The more I learned the more I realized, Surgery is NOT the "easy way out". It actually is probably the harder way out, due to all the sacrifice you have to be prepared for.

So my date....NOVEMBER 3, 2015

I am very nervous but so much more excited. The surgery itself doesn't scare me. It is more the thought of knowing this is it, for real, no going back, no cheat days. Maybe that is what I needed all along? No excuses...just do it.
So currently, I am on my 2 week Pre-Op Low Carb Diet.  Ya, that is about as fun as it sounds.  I have indulged in high protein eating at its finest. While I don't feel hungry, my mind tells me I am starving.  I can easily do without cookies and cakes...but breads, oh I miss you. Plus you learn to realize how many things have carbs and how fast they add up. 60grams isn't much when that was ones main intake.  But all this is good, and teaching me how to change the eating in the household as well. I don't want them to make the same mistakes I made.

My Goal Weight doesn't really matter. What my Goal is, is to fit into size 10/12 and generally just feel good, be off my medications for BP and GERD.
Also, I am new to Blogging. I had read others blogs and was inspired. I use to journal a lot and it was a good stress relief, so thought I would give this a try. So my other Goal is to keep up with this Blog as well as write a few others about my Travels and my Kids.